Hold On To Hold Out!

Question: Why haven't I told those whom I love all about you yet? Why haven't I told them about your eyes? Or about your smile? Or about how much you love me? Why haven't I told them about how it sounds when you whisper my name? Or how it feels when you touch that part of me?
(I think) I know it is because I love them. You just couldn't understand... Please leave. I know I'll stop feeling lonely when you're no longer around. I know I'll stop flinching when I hear your footsteps from afar, or feel your breath on my neck.
When I close my eyes at night trying to find peace I instead find your sinister eyes gleaming back at me. I think I'd breathe easy without your stronghold.
Love should never be this painful. So Go!

Forever Falling

i just realised that i haven't taken any pictures lately.
how sad life must be when you can't even try to capture the beauty around you.
actually life isn't sad (neither am i... not really), i've just been so lazy.
last november i took part in #Nanowrimo, a writing contest. i just received my proof copy of the book i had written. an idea has since been cemented in me: i don't want to be a writer to make a profit, but i would love to help other writers believe in the ideas & characters they've created. so i want to now become a proof reader. i think i've always known that that is what i would like to do, i just needed to say the words out loud.
so i want to write & take pictures for the love of it not for any other kind of gain.

i love this song to bits: Falling

Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release
Wish for falling through the air to give me some relief
Because falling's not the problem, when I'm falling I'm at peace
It's only when I hit the ground it causes all the grief

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Whoa-oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

This is a song for a scribbled-down name
And my love keeps writing again and again
This is a song for a scribbled-down name
And my love keeps writing again and again
And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again
_ Falling- Florence + the Machine

Jig-Saw Me

My bones are like the left over jig-saw puzzle pieces
that you’re all trying to squish together
but they just don’t fit.

They’re missing the essential bits
to glue them in place, the balls & sockets
don’t join to create completion
they’re made of different materials that just don’t gel.

Words Flow Out Like Holograms

my bones ache...
my toes freeze...
my smile is fixed...
& i am still a little happy
        ♥
im a fat girl pretending thin...
but success is not for me to win...
as im just a cog in the machine...
just a cog in the machine
         ♥
my heads a mess...
no longer a fuzz ball just too muddled for words...
                                                                        ♥
its done. its over with. my goodbyes were said, my tears unshed.
                         ♥
i laugh to keep the tears locked inside
i forget
i sing along til my voice is gone...
i believe in the power of song...
but most of all i believe in you
                  ♥
my head is spinning...
my throat is tight...
my smile was fixed...
good night

I love meeting new friends

hi! Again

can you believe ive almost been here a month now? it feels like a few short days... even though it feels like ive never left. it feels weird to have to find your feet from all over again & then to have to train them in which directions to move - left,right,right, left (no army formations for me please). there have been days where all i wanted was to walk maybe even the 500miles we sang about. there were even times i just wanted to sleep the day away. but each day i see as a day to have confidence in confidence alone if somehow i cant have any in me... im working on it okay. ive made new friends, its strange how i feel as though ive known them all for years & years & years, but that we've only just met.

so i wanna raise my glass of juice & propose a toast: To the Good times & the Bad that lay ahead of us all, lets always try to be the best we can be.