The Death Day Brigadier

We stand side by side on the ledge. It's time to fall for nothing and stand for something. Unhook your fingers from mine and watch as I go.
"Your Grace? Your Worship? Your Honour?" I plead. This sentence is over now let me speak.

My air supply diminishes; the heaving of my chest slows as permanent sleep comes naturally.
(Death Day Brigadier please, oh please will you can the ad libs? This isn't a commentary hour it's my life.)
This feeling its waning: it's just like 'sweet release' and nothing.

I think my lungs have stopped working. Something's happening and all I can think about is trivialities like the too bright sun.
My lungs hurt more than I care to know. I hate how you can make me miss something I never knew I wanted, never knew I needed... never knew I had...

I do have my head in the clouds and I like it.

The Ruby Bracelet

Splash, split, split, splash. I heard the ironic liquid pool before I saw anything. But when my eyes opened they caught her dark ones fueled by pain, then moved over her face, glimpsed the dusting of freckles now moist, before gazing at her dark curtaining hair. But none of that shocked me more that seeing that... seeing the aura of black around her. With each slowly ticking second passing us by the pool of red grew deeper on the hardwood floors. But my eyes flew back to her eyes, so dark, so pained it was enough to knock the breath from my lonely lungs.
Split, split, splash. She looked down and my gaze followed hers to the ruby bracelet just beneath the gash and my eyes became hers and I saw as she saw: the hand reaching for the drawer, the fingers grasping the silver handle, the blade gleaming menacingly under the flickering fluorescent light. And I aged about a millennium within a second.
My eye lids began to droop, fatigue arresting my body. With every drop of her blood that fell my heart beat in answer. I could see her bloodied palm as she once again aimed at my heart, my mind raced but my body forgot how to fight. My heart beat louder shredding at its bindings. She moved forward and so did I, knowing how the knife would barrel through my heart and I was ready.
A split second was all it took, with a simple flick of her wrist she forced the blade through her own chest. And I crumpled to the ground, lying in the pool of blood that was my own. And I knew she would be fine as she sweetly sang: "silent night... holy night... all is calm... all is bright..." My breathing shallowed. I raised my left hand, bloodied and still clutching my murder weapon.
I heard the liquid pool before I saw anything. But her eyes now glowing and brown held mine... no they were mine. She is me and I am her and we're both as light as a feather. She saintly whispers: "I love you and goodbye, go because it is time to go".

"Bambi"

As The Deer
You're my friend and you are my brother, even though you are a king. I love you more than any other, so much more than anything. -M.Nystrom
For JJ: thank you for being you.
I rememeber when everything was "because I'm king" and laugh each time you say "Linz you're just 'weak'". I love how you can take ordinary things and make it extra-ordinary and don't forget you built your own comfy couch 'cos you're just cool like that'.
I don't usually show my sisterly appreciation but I've come to learn that you are you and uniquely so. Thank you for being my 'little' brother.
(luv ya lots just like jelly tots)

rainy day women need to be - thats it

I hate that you've already made your mind up but then again that's how I feel, just my opinion, nothing questionable.
I think you talk just to fill the silence and I laugh because silence is golden and I want silver lined pockets.
"What's your story?" you ask and my smile, mischievous as always, sparks doubting thoughts inside your head. "I really don't know, haven't written it yet..." and truly I haven't.
"You have a healthy baby boy," the doc announces beaming brightly at you and me. "Have you picked out a name yet?" I nod, "He will be my little Procrastination Junior and he will grow to be just like his father..." and you smile because you're just that proud.
And I hate that you've already made up your mind, you want to teach him to play football and play the sax and its fine... for now. But you put off teaching him his 'ABC's' because they're so easy like '123' because his momma is taking care of him.
And I hate that in all of this I've allowed you to make up your mind and forgotten how to think in a way that is all my own.
I hate that you've already made your mind up but then again that is how I feel and thank god I have an opinion and its all questionable because its mine: thought up by me, myself and I.
And I don't care... so get gone and stay gone. Now my minds all made up.

"some will win, some will lose, some are born to sing the blues"

i smile at the sign tattoed on the bedroom wall, it says "Handle With Care", its bold letters shining in the mid-day sun. my heart screams out an audible: "please do" but i hope you don't hear it because i know better and whisper in your ear: "get rid of those rubber gloves". i'm not That fragile, but still shivers creep down my spine.
after its all said, its done, its over and its out i never feel empty anymore just hollow, like a hollowed-out pumpkin missing her shell.

am i ready to take the chance that my prince will never come?

i don't want them anymore, they're all yours... goodluck & goodbye