If I wish upon a star can I wish on the one you descended on? But i guess complacency is not yet mine. I just need a fix...
I need to twist the cap off and feel the liquid flow freely down my throat, to have it forgive my sins and all my transgressions.
Gelatine based muscles...Hallucinogenic mixtures. I’m giddy, I’m all jittery as f*ck. My muscles are all bunched up, my nerves tethered and tied to balloon strings... At the moment all I have is this cup of coffee and a fake smile to keep me running on un-empty. Your hand in mine would surely help me soar.
I feel the effects at last: it is fast and smooth flowing into unused veins once more. Its plutonium love my precognitive dreamer, so set my broken bones because I’ve been walking down memory lane a lot lately and they’re not even good memories they’re just belated dreams forgotten seconds after thinking. It’s time to turn autopilot off.
I need you to keep pumping my blood, my heart – you’ve got it.
Am i that much of an old soul, trying not to drown in the undercurrent of non-existent love?
27 November 2009
19 November 2009
She whispered I love you but he was already gone
The wind whispers in my ear and I pray it’s you telling me it will all be right.
My voice it disappears. I’m losing my will to sing and I’m scared. What else am I good at?
I’ve never dreamt this could happen. I fight a battle already lost. Hope keeps bypassing me for you.
It seems dark but the sun shines through molten clouds.
I croak out a tune and hold my throat.
“Bite your tongue,” I want to scream but pray instead, making the air around solemn and sacred.
You touch my hands and flinch because they’re as cold and hard as ice.
My lips are blue and yet they hunger for you. Breathe life back into me to see the sun shine through the darkest clouds.
I know in my heart of hearts that you never meant it. You’re incapable of causing pain, I know.
Time has come and time has gone, so thank you for the memories, enjoy life and have fun.
I scream but my mouth remains closed because missing you is not an option anymore.
I think it takes guts to call it quits. I’m quitting you!
The gravity of it all just hit.
There’s a space where your heart used to beat in unison with mine. There’s a hole where my heart is… used to be…
Behind the curtain I change becoming the ugly moth once again. The clocks struck twelve, so I test my tired wings. No more butterflies and princes for me, just the dull thudding of drums in my head and angels voices in my ears.
Love hurts, everybody says so. I guess that’s why I’ve never allowed myself to dabble in it fully, always afraid of the pain. I guess I’m sick and tired of the fear, I want to feel the pain at least when it’s all over I could say I Have Loved. It might just be with the tiniest part of my heart or with every ounce of my soul but it will be love.
I’m on fire like a barroom burning to the ground.
If I die in my sleep just know that’s the reason why.
I want to continue the search for love. But my wings are tired and my eyes droopy, I think it’s time to rest. My jetlag is now permanent.
The wind whispers in my ear and I pray it is you telling me it will all be right.
My voice it disappears. I’m losing my will to sing and I’m scared. What else am I good at?
I’ve never dreamt this could happen. I fight a battle already lost. Hope keeps bypassing me for you.
It seems dark but the sun shines through molten clouds.
I croak out a tune and hold my throat.
“Bite your tongue,” I want to scream but pray instead, making the air around solemn and sacred.
You touch my hands and flinch because they’re as cold and hard as ice.
My lips are blue and yet they hunger for you. Breathe life back into me to see the sun shine through the darkest clouds.
I know in my heart of hearts that you never meant it. You’re incapable of causing pain, I know.
Time has come and time has gone, so thank you for the memories, enjoy life and have fun.
I scream but my mouth remains closed because missing you is not an option anymore.
I think it takes guts to call it quits. I’m quitting you!
The gravity of it all just hit.
There’s a space where your heart used to beat in unison with mine. There’s a hole where my heart is… used to be…
Behind the curtain I change becoming the ugly moth once again. The clocks struck twelve, so I test my tired wings. No more butterflies and princes for me, just the dull thudding of drums in my head and angels voices in my ears.
Love hurts, everybody says so. I guess that’s why I’ve never allowed myself to dabble in it fully, always afraid of the pain. I guess I’m sick and tired of the fear, I want to feel the pain at least when it’s all over I could say I Have Loved. It might just be with the tiniest part of my heart or with every ounce of my soul but it will be love.
I’m on fire like a barroom burning to the ground.
If I die in my sleep just know that’s the reason why.
I want to continue the search for love. But my wings are tired and my eyes droopy, I think it’s time to rest. My jetlag is now permanent.
The wind whispers in my ear and I pray it is you telling me it will all be right.
Ariella
“Lost at sea or lost on land, what’s the difference?” I questioned myself. “It feels as though the end of the world is upon me, crushing my lungs between nimble fingertips and I can’t break through.”
Her eyes were glazed over. Her heart hung heavy, for life was not all it was cracked up to be.
Walking slowly and deliberately as though each step was that of one closer to her demise, she gripped the doorknob and felt it turn without her turning it. The door was soon wrenched from her grasp. Her breath caught tightly in her throat and her eyes fluttered closed…
Her prince came to save her. “I love you,” she whispered but the dream was already gone.
So she fell into the arms of another who showed his love in hateful ways but all she’d ever known was his love.
A love like no other.
Her eyes were glazed over. Her heart hung heavy, for life was not all it was cracked up to be.
Walking slowly and deliberately as though each step was that of one closer to her demise, she gripped the doorknob and felt it turn without her turning it. The door was soon wrenched from her grasp. Her breath caught tightly in her throat and her eyes fluttered closed…
Her prince came to save her. “I love you,” she whispered but the dream was already gone.
So she fell into the arms of another who showed his love in hateful ways but all she’d ever known was his love.
A love like no other.
13 November 2009
Perforated-Genius-Like-Me
The trees sway in the wind
Music pounds in my soul
The birds sing along to a dead man’s tune.
Just follow this labyrinth to my favourite haunts.
If you’re there you’re there
If not… who cares?
He lived in the past,
He was cold and hard
(Hide out; run far, far away)
He’s living in his head, resting behind locked eyes.
I’m wishing my knight could save me from this wasteland of a reality.
But I can’t keep spilling my heart for you.
It’s like knocking at a dead man’s door before an open grave just toeing the line.
Music pounds in my soul
The birds sing along to a dead man’s tune.
Just follow this labyrinth to my favourite haunts.
If you’re there you’re there
If not… who cares?
He lived in the past,
He was cold and hard
(Hide out; run far, far away)
He’s living in his head, resting behind locked eyes.
I’m wishing my knight could save me from this wasteland of a reality.
But I can’t keep spilling my heart for you.
It’s like knocking at a dead man’s door before an open grave just toeing the line.
06 November 2009
“My story? Not really sure. But yeah.”
Life was entering the boring zone. I missed him too much and couldn’t believe that I’d even gotten to this point. Life seriously was entering the boredom zone. I recently stopped singing (I can’t believe I just admitted that to you of all people, but who cares right?) I just decided it wasn’t for me anymore. I really hope you can understand my reasoning. So I’m guessing you want to know why singing isn’t my meal ticket anymore, right? I can’t write. He was my inspiration and without him here my words just seem pointless and yeah they fall on deaf ears because they’re not his ears. So yeah boredom really is my home now. Stop me already, you can’t allow me to walk the narrow path of nostalgia this way. Could we go, just leave, just disappear, just run and dance in the rain because it feels like home and I’m missing my home? Better yet let’s dance, let’s chase away the bad and let the music course and swim inside us, levitating us off the ground. I miss his arms, my permanent home…my comfort zone, so warm and inviting. The memories are fading and all I care to remember now is the outer sheath of all things good. But talking about it all with you makes me sad all over and now, I hate to admit it but I long for home. I guess I’ve opened up and laid my cards on the table face down because some things are still too primitively painful. I know it’s strange to say but I do miss singing...true my words are gone and all ears have gone deaf but my voice is newer and I never sang for you, always for me, the smile it brought to his face was just an added bonus. So let me stand tall in front of masses, letting the smile in my song travel through me like a dove searching for the perfect olive tree for its anointing.
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