The Funnel Countdown

“I’m sorry,” I utter as you pass me by,

The ghostly me trying not to cry,

Because days are drawing near for when

I’ll have to say goodbye.

We laughed together sitting side-by-side

Watching the sun fade before our eyes,

As the day draws near for when

I’ll have to say adios amigo, my dear.

Getting to know each other was (is) tough,

But the days are drawing near for when

I’ll say a fond farewell that is not enough.


Long-distance was never our thing

Never letting me hear you sing,

Now the days draw near for when

I’ll bring you a flower and you’ll whisper adieu at the hour


I’m a wreck to leave you behind-

Knowing I’ll be giving up on us.

Sadly the days are too few in number

And our goodbyes will soon be forgot from your mind.


My nerves are swirled,

Deep-fried cake batter dusted in confectioners’ sugar...

But i could never regret them.

I Believe (Part Deux) V-Day Edit

I believe in Santa & his trusty steed Rudolph (who else could so deftly consume the hoards of cookies I leave out on Frabjous Day?)... i believe a single ant can carry 10-50 times its own weight... i believe that all it’ll take to turn a cloudy day around is for you to smile from within... i believe happiness is found... i believe happiness is created... i believe happiness is momentarily thrust upon us all (we just have to take it upon ourselves when the opportunity arises)... i believe the stars were placed in the sky for us to find our way back home... i believe in you... i believe sarcasm is a mechanism that helps to shield us from fire-breathers (take it from a sarcastic fire-breather who forgot to light the match)... i believe that we are all ‘pink on the inside’( so can we please stop all the fighting because of how different we are on the outside?)... i believe we are all unique for a reason.... i believe that there are reasons for everything (we just have to find the right questions to ask)... i believe that glass is half full... i believe the heart knows what it wants... i believe we have to learn to appreciate the small things in life (in order to accept the things that can knock us off our feet... i believe that a person can be both happy & sad- that you can smile as ‘the tears come streaming down you face’... i believe that making mistakes makes us human (i swear i am not an alien- i make too many mistakes to be one).... i believe music is a universal language that almost everyone wants to learn how to speak... i believe in fairy tales & their happy endings... i believe that not every happily ever after was meant as such (they just changed the outcome as the situation evolved)... i believe in you... i want to believe in me too.

Defeated

Am I the cowardly Lion, wishing for a heart that once as mine before you locked it away and stole the key?

“There’s only one hopeful chord in this cacophony, and it’s this girl

I’m following.”

The streets are deserted as we three are released from our music filled hollow- Dorothy and her gang- our arms linked as fear begins to consume this journey.

I recognise your face in the dark and in a gasp realise we’re all just following the same sun-tinged brick road.

But what if Dorothy- on her journey holding hands with her gang, stopped to stare at the blinking stars guiding their way saw instead of the face of the man she sort but the brightest star that managed to utter a single word and left her blinded by the sun- could I the cowardly Lion guide her on?

I don’t mind that your dreams aren’t about me in your sleepful hour. The sky has opened up and we are again singing in the rain...

We’re singing in the rain. And it’s such a glorious feeling from my head right down to my toes. Because we’re so happy again...

My lungs stop their in and out movement as your lips press to mine but there is nothing to fear as you begin to breathe for me. your air pulsing through my blood filled veins, as we voyage ever more toward our journey’s end.

We’re no longer afraid. I am cowardly no more and he is genius when love fills our atmosphere as a witch is caged and a beauty whisked away in swirling air. We have nothing left to prove except that we’re no longer afraid.

Nj's Adventures in Wonderland

this popsicle stand - Adventures in Wonderland

for nj from Linz

Its been a busy year for me... Will the new year follow this good trend or disappoint?

So much has happenend in such a short year. 365 days, 12 months, 52 weeks, 8760 hours and so on and so on. this year has just been too short for words. but i'm short and to someone as short as me such a short time can seem very long.

my exploits have not all been captured on paper, they have not all been worthy for the interwebs and often i don't acknowledge them to myself, but they have all happenend.

i've had interviews from hell and job offers to boot. i've lost friends and gained loved ones. and in the processes of it all found out who i really am and that is who i really want to be.

i've had the honour of welcoming people and dignitaries to our great shores and experienced gratitude like no other. and learned that all it takes to make a day is a simple thank-you and a dash of a smile.

i've learned to be creative, to acknowledge the beauty all around us and tried to find beauty in creating art through many mediums and crafts.

i also had a small stint in a hospital (my brain is still intact, thank-you very much) the fear still persists, wrote a crap-tastic book (with a little too much smut for anybody's liking) the fear still exists, and got accepted for my dream job (sadly it is not at the coca-cola factory) the fear has me shaking in my boots, because it means i will soon have to leave behind these sunny shores and all the people on it to venture out and make a new home in a foreign place.

i treasure this year and all its happenings whether good, bad or ugly because it is leading me on an unfamiliar path that i want to be on.

so all thats left to say is: see you all on the flip side... Mickey your ears are mine!!!

Love NjinWonderland

my NaNo month

NaNoWriMo

The rules (According to me)

• 50,000 words (+/-16667 words per day)

• 30 days (Begin 01/11 & End 30/11)

• Pick a genre

• And don’t stop writing

For the entire month of November I was participating in something called NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month which happens annually.

I took part on a whim. A few weeks before I had stopped writing because everything I was producing stopped making sense to me (I know... it never made sense to anyone before). So when someone sent me a link I immediately talked myself into it then talked some people into being my own cheering squad.

I went into it blindly, no plot no problem? Up until you can’t figure out if you’re writing a romance or a horror. The first week was exciting and I was confident, well as confident as a no talent writer can be. I had resigned myself to only writing whatever popped in my head, I refused to plan ahead and I foolishly wrote everything by hand until I had the time to sleepily type everything up again. The second week began successfully until I lost all hope in the middle of it all.

A bit of advice if you’re participating in a 50,000 word 30 day challenge: sleep is for the faint at heart and migraines caused from stress of being under target for the day is just a stupid excuse to sleep like the weakling you are. Well that’s what I kept telling myself over and over.
So during the second week everything went downhill for me (I know I suck). Now they say it will all clear up around the third week but and the fourth would be the home stretch and you’d be so excited that the finish was near that nothing could deter you from writing. None of that happened for me or it just all happened in reverse.
But lucky me, my end result just so happens to be 50,525 words in 30 days, how many people can say that they have done that as a no talent beginner writer thingy?

Here’s a little taste...

Claire spotted some art on the walls. Two abstract paintings and a landscape of an Italian villa and its surrounding area. And positioned above his desk was one of hers (one that wasn’t abstract at all). It was a self portrait in a way. It was the darkest piece of work she had managed in her young life, borne from her depressive state at not being able to prosper the way she felt she deserved to. Her red hair was muddied in the picture. She had worked painstakingly hard at that looking at her reflection in the cracked hand held mirror for far too long. The entire painting had a dark grey scale tinted effect to it and lacked a lot of colour except for a single blue tear that she had introduced at the last minute and a red sunflower that had been one of the inspiring things for the painting, although the flower had been yellow when she had seen it bloom.

Here’s another...

She braved the storm. “I met a boy when I was about eight. I think I fell in love with him. I dreamt about him for almost an eternity. Then about ten years later I came across him again, but he didn’t remember me. He was with another girl. They looked so happy, so comfortable together, holding hands and laughing at each other’s failed attempts at jokes,” Claire’s voice broke as a tear rolled down her face plopping into her wine glass. “I painted that with a broken heart, because I knew he could never love me and poured my soul out onto the canvass. Because he would never want me. As the years passed I learned to accept that he would never see me for the person I am. Now just six years later he tells me he sees into my soul after staring at a painting I did when I was young and naïve and in need of being wanted,” Claire faced Alex. “Wait, do you mean I somehow inspired that?” he asked smiling up at the painting.

Want more? No can do I have to edit and now is not the time for that. The time now is naptime
 edit: The novel is called 'The Perfect Mistake That I'm Hoping You'll Make Right Now' and its a Romance

just a little update

hey look who just so happens to be a #NaNoWriMo2010 participant.
welcome to day number 9 right now as my stats have shown i'll likely be an author of a completed novel by the 5th of December 2010. keep in mind this is a 30 day challenge that began on monday the 1st of November and will end on the 30th of Novemeber. i have so far gotten mixed reviews when i spilled the beans about this challenge.
here's the one that made me curse the loudest: "you read".
did i forget to mention that im a first timer and my genre is romance (i have no idea how to be romantic). oh and the novel word count is 50,000 words (yeah no exaggeration needed). my total for the past 8 days just so happens to be 13,114 no where near where i need to be but hey it all about the F.U.N right. even though i am not entirely sure that i will finish on or before the deadline, i already have plans to do this next year hopefully then i'll have a structured plot and a storyline that actually makes sense. but who ever knows with me right...

Edit: last night (17/11/2010) at around 23:16 to be exact (and we all know how much i dont líke to be) i managed to hit my personal word goal #25,000 words... however i only noticed at word #25,149. the true fml is that now i am not just 50 words behind where i expected to be but 4,500 words behind. heres to going strong... if i dont make it for 50,000 at least my personal was hit hard with a baseball bat.