Large Hazelnut Coffee Plz.

What’s with this whole ‘Dependency on stuffed animals’ deal? Have we become so impersonal with actual human contact that we now force ourselves to create meaningful relationships with a Duffy Doll or a Pooh Bear or a Thomas the Tank Engine?  It was cute when we were 2 or 5 but at 25 shouldn’t we be focusing on making life-long friends?

That doll will never be the one.  He can’t put his arms around you & hug you & tell you “it’ll all be ok” & kiss you so intensely that it makes you toes tingle or brings you flowers “just because”.


So why are we putting up walls & wasting time?

Chai

There is Art all around us,
sometimes we're just too blind to see.

There is music everywhere,
it's in the clatter of a heart as it breaks into a million pieces.

Yet the pain forces us to remember we're still alive,
while it & our mistakes remind us that we're still human.

This taste is bittersweet,
but the blood on my tongue just adds the right amount of seasoning to the regret & all your fucked up excuses.

Hold On To Hold Out!

Question: Why haven't I told those whom I love all about you yet? Why haven't I told them about your eyes? Or about your smile? Or about how much you love me? Why haven't I told them about how it sounds when you whisper my name? Or how it feels when you touch that part of me?
(I think) I know it is because I love them. You just couldn't understand... Please leave. I know I'll stop feeling lonely when you're no longer around. I know I'll stop flinching when I hear your footsteps from afar, or feel your breath on my neck.
When I close my eyes at night trying to find peace I instead find your sinister eyes gleaming back at me. I think I'd breathe easy without your stronghold.
Love should never be this painful. So Go!

Forever Falling

i just realised that i haven't taken any pictures lately.
how sad life must be when you can't even try to capture the beauty around you.
actually life isn't sad (neither am i... not really), i've just been so lazy.
last november i took part in #Nanowrimo, a writing contest. i just received my proof copy of the book i had written. an idea has since been cemented in me: i don't want to be a writer to make a profit, but i would love to help other writers believe in the ideas & characters they've created. so i want to now become a proof reader. i think i've always known that that is what i would like to do, i just needed to say the words out loud.
so i want to write & take pictures for the love of it not for any other kind of gain.

i love this song to bits: Falling

Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release
Wish for falling through the air to give me some relief
Because falling's not the problem, when I'm falling I'm at peace
It's only when I hit the ground it causes all the grief

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Whoa-oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

This is a song for a scribbled-down name
And my love keeps writing again and again
This is a song for a scribbled-down name
And my love keeps writing again and again
And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again
_ Falling- Florence + the Machine

Jig-Saw Me

My bones are like the left over jig-saw puzzle pieces
that you’re all trying to squish together
but they just don’t fit.

They’re missing the essential bits
to glue them in place, the balls & sockets
don’t join to create completion
they’re made of different materials that just don’t gel.

Words Flow Out Like Holograms

my bones ache...
my toes freeze...
my smile is fixed...
& i am still a little happy
        ♥
im a fat girl pretending thin...
but success is not for me to win...
as im just a cog in the machine...
just a cog in the machine
         ♥
my heads a mess...
no longer a fuzz ball just too muddled for words...
                                                                        ♥
its done. its over with. my goodbyes were said, my tears unshed.
                         ♥
i laugh to keep the tears locked inside
i forget
i sing along til my voice is gone...
i believe in the power of song...
but most of all i believe in you
                  ♥
my head is spinning...
my throat is tight...
my smile was fixed...
good night