It’s been a while since we’ve spoken. So I decided that I’d prefer t o tell you a little truth.
I don’t know what happened this weekend. All I remember was stopping the car in the middle of the heaviest traffic known to man and just bursting with tears.
I guess it was always there hiding in the background: cars- the weapons of mass destruction to the modern world.
But I would never want to harm anyone... except myself. I stopped cutting a long time ago, quit the drugs, but this just feels different. I know I’ll never actually do it but the idea is there growing in power and I am here growing in fear.
I’m sorry it must be pathological or something, but I am working on not believing my lies so readily.
I wonder how I would feel if this was actually true. No, I take that back: I’d never want to feel anything if an idea like that ever grew enough to be carried out.
Sorry again to have misled you. My truths these days are often twisted and fucked up.
just to clear my conscience and to ease yours: this is just something i wrote, most of the things spoken about i haven't tried or attempted. i am a chicken and proud of it.
ReplyDelete