“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo”, Juliet solemnly asked...

Dear Juliet,


I know this is supposed to be about love. No, not just any kind of love, but the unattainable kind that people lose their minds over. So I guess this is where I warn you that I haven't found the one and neither has he found me... yet.

It's as though love keeps bypassing me. My friends all have sparkles in their eyes and here I sit faking smiles to prove that I'm okay being by myself. Sometimes it really is okay because I really am happy and most of the time those smiles happen to be the real deal.

I dreamt him up... those eyes that change each time they burn deeper into my soul. I see him before me, but he's not mine, he's just a memory of a dream that won't come true.

I've gone so far as to mould him from clay, to try to breathe life into that mound of sand and hope for him to love me.

Love is all around us (sometimes I forget), and I'm trying my damndest to learn to be patient for when my unattainable love comes to find me... for when my Romeo comes to find me. (If ever you want to play fairy godmother just please give him a push in my direction... the right direction.)

I know that one day, someday soon, I too shall have that sparkle in my eye and the love from my one keeping me safe.

Love nj in wonderland

What a Waste of the Sun

Smoke billowed from a chimney as the porch light extinguished, the drapes drawn and the resounding quiet too loud for outside ears.

The Last Remnants of Framed Mementos

On Wednesday a dear beloved was injured in a horrific tragedy. At promptly 19:52 the coroner’s report was received stating that the passing away was accidental.

For the past few years, each day was spent in the company of greats. Each day they helped me see, directed my way without protest and assisted in my constant need for learning.

My glasses... or “gases” as someone often called them. When I had first gotten this pair no one noticed the change to my exterior and I didn’t mind. They went everywhere with me... sorry my humorous eulogy skills haven’t quite kicked in yet.

I remember them all fogged up as I persevered to concur that ski mountain. I remember the countless heroines they brought to life for me. i remember how often I managed to fall asleep with them on and feeling safe and protected like: nothing bad can touch me now. As soon as I adjusted them to the bridge of my nose I was transported to a world unknown, one that was made of dark & light, good & bad, yin & yang.

We take the little things for granted... to you they might have just been specs, but to me they were the window frames to my soul.

The Indecisive Pretender

You’re not who you say you are... I see it in your eyes at night when you change from dark to light. I see it when we fight, when you care to make my heart feel so tight. At first sight I can’t decide if I want to want you because you’re not who you say you are or if I can live with me without you.

I am me no doubts about it. Un-hollow and warm: through and through. Being near you I feel like me, just ten million times better, like you fuel my super powers.
I want you to want me too. I’m tired of hoping you’d show me you. Let’s put our fears aside. Maybe we should slow things down and go up town to play with a circus clown without a frown as I wear a curious crown... my eyes are brown and I like the sound of your smile when you’re you through and through.
It sort of still feels bitter-sweet: one goal down ten million still lying around... but I could care less about them all scattered round and strewn on the dirty ground… because “all you need is love” and if it’s meant to be... it will be. It all comes to play at the right time.
The tears I’d shed were not for you, but for the life you’d said I would never call my own. Because you’re not who I say you are...

Hit the Bank before You trudge the Lane: the Memory Saga

You are more than you give yourself credit for. Fear is powerful and you’ve allowed it to rule like a Nazi dictator or something equally vile.
Fear is the darkness that clouds out the brightest star. Love is the sun that dries up all the tears shed leaving you starry-eyed.
Wanna forget the bad times? Build shrines for smiles we don’t even remember?
Sometimes it’s good to remember the pain, the tears, the lessons we were forced to learn... it always has the tendency to remind us of the courage we possess, of how brave we are, of what we can accomplish when we put our minds to it even as our hearts shatter.
I like to forget to forget... to remember the true smiles. I’ll never ask for more. I’ll never tell you to hide who you are. And I’ll never expect you to be who you are not.

I thought I'd try something a little different today

I thought I'd try something a little different today


my interest in the Saga is waning just a little. i loved the books, devoured them & looked past all the spelling errors (which is hard for me to do). i got hooked on the first movie saw the second with a gaggle of tweenies who shrieked each time Jacob appeared half naked and realised that the third is just a little too sexual-innuendo filled for my liking. i sooo agree with the unhealthy relationship bit though i mean if my guy must disable my truck so i cant see my best friend he'll wish he were never born (dont mess with my baby)... needless to say i will see the fourth movie , both parts of it.

I Believe...

I believe in love... i believe in evolution: man, those dinosaurs were epic... i believe the chicken came before the egg... i believe we all have a purpose: I just haven’t found mine yet... I believe in never stepping on the cracks in the asphalt... I believe in life... I believe in death... I believe that death is a part of life... I believe in witches & wizardry... I believe in soul mates & true loves... I believe there is no ‘black & white’ about it all just the Technicolor my TV comes in... I believe that there is always two sides to every fence; you’re just stuck on one side... I believe in you