All Hallows Eve

wishing all a Happy Halloween

hope its frightfull

i might look 15 (as i've been told) but really i am only 21

The prelude to the end, we knew it would inevitably happen.

Everybody's out to protect their necks and I'm just out for the count. I guess its not a secret anymore. I can't believe I'm about to say this out loud: "I hate you so much right now" and I don't know how to curb this emotion from raining down on my pathetic parade, but let the rain fall down.
It seems you've created illusions and I'm just living through them. Yeah I'll have my moments while you fuel the fire of every girls' desire but by pure design I find myself immune to your self-adhesive powers. So why are you selling yourself so hard?
Is it wrong to want you to want me?

Shadow Play

"Can't believe I was so excited for this day to start, now I can't wait for it to come to a screeching halt," I scream to a God who's blocked his ears from my continuous complaining.
"Do you even know what I am because I surely don't?" I'm like a shadow almost invisible but just not there yet and I know he knows.
So I sit here staring down at my reflection in a well of black that is my coffee cup and I feel like a shadow- no body, no mind, no heart and no soul.
I like being in the shadows, watching the world pass me by feeling inferior to the worldly chaos. Its time to forget so let's forget those years even existed
This is terse and tense and not how I imagined love to be. So I'm sitting here waiting for life to suck because I wanna roll with the punches and ride off into the sunset... it's true.
I guess it's true: life is too short to be anybody else. Life's all sunshine and roses when its spent with you.

Out of Milk!

It's dark except for the light coming from the refrigerator. You stare sleepily inside, not finding what you want there. You bend over slightly searching for the milk carton but it hides from you. Your eyes look heavy with sleep so you don't see me standing in the doorway to the kitchen. You don't see my smile as I admire your messy hair, your naked chest & those blue boxers I love so much. I laugh as you jump at the purring cat sliding her body against your naked legs. I laugh louder as you curse rubbing your forehead knowing there'll be a bruise in the morning. I'm laughing so hard, I'm holding my belly lying on the wooden flooring with tears streaming down my cheeks. My eyes are tightly shut, my breathing constricted, my shoulders heaving. I'm laughing so hard I don't see you walk over to me, but I feel you now on top of me laughing with me, holding me close: I never wanna stop laughing with you... laughing with me...

Catch My Tears

Try to the end to fill the silences like the cracks in the wall of a broken-down mess of a home.
Don't say what's on your mind because I'm not ready to feel the pain. I want to be numb, numb to this world I don't want to be a part of. Catch my tears as they fall.
Catch my tears as they spill, you know they're only ever for you. I don't want to fall into the well that is you but it's too late to try to stop me, but thanks anyway.
I hurt; I hurt so much at times I want to cuddle up & throw my emotions away. My eyes twitch I think I'm tired, but I just woke from the deadest slumber. My mom says it's because I'm to see someone... When will it happen? Is it you?
Catch my tears before they fall out of reach & away they go.
Pulling myself apart to understand the aesthetics of it all, nothings one-dimensional enough for this lonely-hearts club! But I'm coming into my own skin & damn does it feel good & you're a prisoner of your own making never to be freed. Please catch my tears as they roll like scarlet pumpkins through a town of undeserving sinners.
Yesterday is lost to us. Tomorrow was never meant for us. We have tonight... let's grab it with both hands...

Black Jack to Vegas

Take this token as a sign of my love & appreciation.
Drop it in the slot & pull the lever.
Stand back & remember all our memories. "Ka-ching!" "Ding, ding, ding" "You've hit the jackpot!"
So fill your pockets & dig in deep.
You've gotta pull out the heart you've hidden there to make room for your winnings.
Your chest is full, your pockets lined, so wear your heart on your sleeve like I wear mine.
Now stand back, let's make new memories.

Indescribable with a touch of attitude

"Music to my ears..." she says conducting a symphony of non-existent musicians and instruments. She closes her eyes once more and continues her arm waving. I see that it takes every ounce of strength in her tiny body to not yell at me for openly laughing at her. "Like the top string of the lyre.." she explains after seeing my exaggerated mimicry of her movements. "I thought it was supposed to be violins in this track," I say laughing. She steps closer to me, standing on her tippy-toes and still only reaching my shoulder, "Well mister piano man we can't all be as gifted as you, now can we?" I love when she gets all flustered, when her comebacks are delayed, but mostly when she laughs about it. I often catch her laughing at herself when she thinks no-one sees. I love when she smiles and her eyes perk up and best of all when she kisses me, like now, pulling me down to her, claiming my lips and forcing every ounce of passion from her to me.
I watch her sleep, her breathing's deep and peaceful, every exhalation pushing her hair from her eyes. My hand reaches out to the hair, to tuck it behind her ear, so that I can get a better look at her serene face. I move closer to her form wishing I was as light as a feather. "Gently, gently," I remind myself so as not to interrupt her slumber. We lay side-by-side, face-to-face. I stop my inching when she stirs slightly. "Damn did I wake her?" I ask myself. Her body seeks the comfort of mine, just as I sought her, moulding her body to mine, lacing her legs with mine, breating in the air I breathe out. Her eyes flutter and I hope it's a good dream; I hope she's dreaming of me. I close my eyes ready for sleep to kidnap me and smile with surprise as her lips touch mine. I hear her whisper low in my ear: "No-one's as gifted as you at loving me, mister piano man..."

Sanctified Sundays

My momma always said that an amount of hoarded dust could form a man.
So what would happen if, as I stand digging my toes in the sand, a mighty gust would blow and swirl the grains of sand, would a figure appear? What could that figure be if he grabs my hand gently to him?
The ocean is calming and cool and I feel the chameleon in me change colours from the fiery red to the tranquil blue. And his grip tightens. I think he senses my hesitance: My 'Sandman' he says his name is.
My toes seek after the earthy grains and its welcoming warmth again. I breathe deeply and take in every salty-sweet scent. And he hugs me close, my hands still locked in his. And I glance down at myself to notice pearl beading across a white silken gown billowing in the wind, its so long it pools in the moist sand. Automatically my hand flies to my hair flowing down my back and around my shoulders in waves and curls- What is today?
"My muscles are all bunched up, my nerves tethered and tied to balloon strings..."
The clouds come rolling in and in my ear I hear: "Mighty the showers of blessing" and a drop or two graze my nose and his lips touch my cheek.
My Sandman scribbles in the moist sand: "Happiness is what you make of it, little girl" and just below that he carves the sand with the words: "Will you be happy with me? Could you be happy with a sandman as a husband?" and he slowly curves a heart around the words: "Would you be mine?"
And I smile because this little girl knows that this right here is everything she's ever dreamt of.